Well, last night my mom called to tell me that her and Laura, one of her coworkers, had a talk about knowing that there is "something about him." Laura told her story about how she knew that was "something about Eric, her husband" from the moment he walked into the Limited (where she worked). They didn't date right away, they went out a few times but she started dating another Eric for awhile. Blah blah, long story, but to make it short...their path wasn't straight to each other either, but she believes as well that you can just tell. You can't explain it, but there is a feeling you get about someone, when you know "there is something about him." My mom decided to fill me in on this story because I've often told her, "There is something about Luke" Maybe we are just destined to be friends, but there is something about that guy that makes me weak. Right now in our lives, its not meant to be, but who knows what happens from one day to the next. I still thank God every day that I was able to meet someone as great as him...someone to be friends with, to share with. Its weird because sometimes I wish we didn't care about each other, I wish I didn't feel for him like I did, because that way we could just be friends, instead of being nothing like we are now. Friendship is always the most important thing.

I called Sarah last night to talk, she needed a study break anyways. We were talking about how we are only 19, and neither one of us have really "dated" many guys. We've both been the ones to have serious relationships (well Sarah more than I, I've only had one), but we dont even know how to date. We talked about how do you know the guy is the one, do you just feel it? We laughed at ourselves...she thought Phil was the one, she says when she sees him now she can't help but laugh hysterically, she could imagine life without him. Now she can only kick herself for wasting such time on something that wasn't meant to be. I guess that is love for us. I was the same way, how silly was I to think that Ryan and I were meant for each other, maybe thats the ignorance that comes with the immature puppy love stuff.

She talked to me about how she truly loved Jeff, more than words could describe to me. But she also expressed her concern that she was only 19, how was she supposed to know what is meant for her. She hasn't even dated around...part of dating different guys is learning about guys, what you look for in a guy, and what you truly need and want in a relationship. I think there are times when she misses out on being young, she has never been able to just be free and careless. She seemed almost a little scared that this might be the one she spends her whole life..at 19. How am I supposed to help her, I dont know anything about serious relationships. I really don't. I know that I'm 19, I know that I'm not ready for something like that.

I used to always say to myself that I really hoped I didn't meet the one to change my life so early in my college career. I'd like to finish school before I'm married, I do have 5 more years left (damn that grad school stuff). I am in a difficult and challenging major, it is going to require numerous and countless hours...I would have to find a guy that is willing to put up with that, and to also support me in it. I just don't know if I would have time.

Ahh...just venting a little bit...

Ohh..relationships....